Conferences, Trauma, and Harvard Blues

Undeserved success against the looming shadows of my past.

When I told my mom that I got into my first choice college on a full scholarship, she looked at me and said: "Good. Now don't be late to class."

I grew up knowing that nothing I did was ever good enough. No matter what I accomplished, it was never enough to guarantee safety, financial stability, or social acceptance. The world was kind of stacked against me.

I was a severely mentally ill child with undiagnosed neurodivergence, regularly subjected to abuse, and stuck with a passport from a country that was always under threat of invasion (spoiler: this becomes relevant later).

No "A" could fix the threats looming over my head. No teenage rite of passage could ever truly help. Nothing I did could ever be good "enough".

Why Should You Care?

The more I've reflected on my current mental state, the more apparent it's become that I'm not alone.

Sure, my particular traumas and circumstances are my own. But I suspect that many of you reading these words might find a reflection of your own fears and…